As I sit here downing this intoxicating chemical
The vision becomes blurry
Senses dull
And memory fades
Reclining in this chair
Beginning the thinking process
Should I have said that?
Did it make sense to not just tell her the truth?
Just admitting that small factor could have possibly
And I stress possibly kept us together
But what do I do now that she's gone?
Should I have just told her about that one night
That one female
That one drunken stupid mistake...
No
Telling her flat out would have been even worse
But how do I deal with this guilt?
Damn I effed up
But telling her that I ran into Steph
My ex
at the bar with the guys
And ended up in the back seat of my car
Definitely not a good idea
Tho I love Sammy with all my heart
I can't believe I did this to her
I'm never drinking again...
But wait
Why didn't the guys stop me?
I thought they had my back?
Damn I guess giving Jamal a shiner
Was no incentive for him to stop me...
Damn
What do I do now?
Omg omg omg omg
Did I really do that with Kevin?!
Omg what would he think of me if I had just told him
If I had just told him that my homegirls
Wanted me to try weed for the first time
With a guy they know
Omg omg *shakes head*
now I see that it's true that things affect EVERYONE differently
But damn I didn't even know him
Shit so I tell him?
No
Dave would be pissed!
Would he even hit me out of anger?
damn I hope not
I love him so much tho
Would he have understood better if I told him?
*Two years later*
Sad to say I'm still sitting here in the same spot
Different chair
Same thought different day
Still sipping on this impairment
Wondering why we're not together
Jasmine told me what she did with Kevin
And I can't believe I raised my hand to hit her
Tho I caught myself and didn't
I almost could've landed myself in jail!
But how...
HOW did she know about me and Steph?!
I made sure to find a great excuse for not coming home
A damn good reason for even walking in the door smelling like a woman
But every bit of my story she saw right through it...
How?!
Just my dumb luck
I had to have slipped up on the details from a few days prior
Ahh am I a asshole
Can you believe it Marisol
It's already been two years since that fateful day
Two years since I broke away from your daddy
He thinks it was all his fault
Tho Jamal told me about the incident with Steph
I would've stayed with him
But when he found out about Kevin from jasmine
He blew a fuse
There was no conversation
No reconciliation
To be sure nothing ever happened I left and never looked back
Man do I wonder if he thinks about me
He doesn't know about you
If he did he would probably disown you
But I don't know that for sure
If only I could tell him now.
With this scenario at it's end.
Sammy and Dave
Have not only ended up highly under the influence of some inhibitor
But have also cheated on each other I the process
Had the two actually sat down and spoken about it like reasonable like they are Dave wouldn't be drinking himself silly
And Sammy wouldn't be a single mother
Had they both sat down like the adults they were
Could the two of them worked out their differences
Yea they could have
Tho trust shattered on both ends of willing and able
It could have been rebuilt
But due to the deceit of both parties
They followed what only be considered uncontrolled anger
For their actions
And did not control the truth of THEIR words
To mean something above and beyond..
For they were to be wed
But no more
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