Chasing Amy Syndrome

Ever just go through a regular do with no expectations?
Of course you have
Ever wake up in the morning wondering what you're doing with your life?
More than likely
Walked down that usual street then see what you consider a beautiful woman
Definitely
Now you soak with this person
Get to know them and things seem magically right
Progression from talking to mingling
Mingling to dating
Dating to a full on relationship
Wonderful
Length of this relationship doesn't matter
Completely irrelevant
This wondrous woman doesn't seem so right for some reason
Things begun to crumble
Experience difference is immense
Building a bridge between you
You begin to push her away
Not coping with the alternate views
Breakage
Time passes
Longing for their attention becomes staggering
You miss her
Crave her
Desire her touch
Her perfect form in your arms
Sweet scent
Soft voice
Beautiful smile
Pleasant times together
You can't move on
You try to act real strong
Now you could say that you don't love her anymore
And you can say you've close the door on your love
And went your separate ways
But I would be the same cause love won't be the same
So you want her back cause your love is still on your brain
But won't get her back
So you're just chasing a ghost of your past

Mental Clarity

Ingesting my poison
inhaling my venom
my mind cannot seem to stop
always constantly moving
not knowing where to end
in order to obtain the finish
you must know where to begin
with completely unclear intentions
I begin this with the end
indecisiveness is a killer
blaring my music like sirens
i hear the shots of the bass
killing my ear drums
penetrating my consciousness
longing for the one thing that can intently cure me
not looking for for the solution for my problem
i hesitate
confusion sets in
seeing a series of events with an unsure conclusion
not understanding the outcome
i feel like running
desiring a finish to the madness
i'm speechless
ingesting my choices
not willing to choose from the masses
i want to escape
letting my thoughts flow
like a spring river thawing out
from impassable mountains
i stop
traversing my mind
where am i supposed to go?
running through this marathon of inventions
i patent not a single one to reality
so many outcomes
i've made a fool of myself
misdirecting myself
i sit back an reminisce on my life at this point
hurting myself
i press forward
wanting to fast forward past the bad parts
destruction
insomnia setting in
craving the release from myself
internally torturing myself
searching for a release from the madness
i put on my mask
covering my own concern
warping and distorting my own reality
hoping to discover something new in my chaos
but only uncovering my own estrange past
not intending to backtrack
unwillingly doing so
wheres my other half when needed?
invisible
new state new beginnings
same outcome, different events
returning to my poison consumption
venom inhalation
excavating for my answer
i sit in silence
burying myself with the sand blowing over everything i've uncovered
indecisiveness
my tranquil escape from myself
going to the sky
only in disdaining my return to sanity
leaping back to my minds outskirts
to get away from me
sailing on my illuminated path
that is eternal
never ending
consuming me
i plot a path into the unknown...